i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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