She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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