other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It all started with a game of naked twister.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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