I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
