Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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