Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
