now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
