I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think your dad took our porno
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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