Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
