What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
