Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
