New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
