I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
