there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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