eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
