i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
