I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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