Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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