i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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