these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
