I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
