No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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