that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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