She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i out mim tonsoeep
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