i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
