lets start a swedish sibling band together
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
