I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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