Are we in a gay sports bar?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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