My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
