fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
