I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
