I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
