Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Can I color on your dick again?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
