I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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