If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
