i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
