why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
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"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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