dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
