I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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