i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
