Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
