actually, I'm a sock model
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
