i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
