Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
