I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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