I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
