so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
