i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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