I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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