we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
