So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
