I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
