K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
