i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
