she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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