So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
