We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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