what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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