New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
