i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
